15 days til i leave for college station....mark your calenders for December 12th!
I know its a day early, but i leave bright and early tomorra for RDU to head to Mississippi til Monday...out of Greenville, no school, quality time with the best friend for 4 days..whoop!These are in no particular order...
1. grad school
2. mom & dad..that he's alive!
3. a duplex close to campus
4. Becky at the International House
5. Tia & Katie..good Greenville friends
6. wool socks
7. the Lord's sovereign hand at work in my life
8. books
9. Valerie-i heart you
10. McAllister's & Panera bread
11. Greenville Public Library
12. Netflix
13. refinement & sanctification
14. wireless internet
15. Eric Lee & his wonderful listening ear
16. understanding professors
17. a church that speaks truth
18. Claudine Blakey...for flying me to mississippi for Thanksgiving
19. those who flew me home in October
20. Caley & Tony..the coolest sibs ever-i miss yall like crazy
21. cold weather..even though i complain occassionally (in conjunction with #34)
22. Jesus & the cross..for saving me
23. the rec center
24. parking spots on the street
25. Tracy..especially the calls & cards
26. sweaters & scarves
27. cell phones & email
28. Laura Stiller..for always bringing an encouraging word
29. grandma thorne's recliner
30. sunny days
31. Abbie Struc and her emails
32. Libby..i don't know what i'd do without my bff
33. Christmas break is almost here & I only have one more research paper to write
34. hot chocolate & quilts
lso these are just somethings going on inside this brain of mine..most of the time its good for me to get'em out, cause it helps me sort through them...
lately, ive been convicted about my motivations; whether or not the choices i make glorfiy Him, or if im really just trying to serve myself, and then theres those middle ground feelings of knowing that it pleases Him and doing it, but only doing it because i know its right-the "it" being anything-these are the ones that happen more often than not.
its a huge struggle and (preface: these next few statements are in no way to excuse my poor choices or cast blame..because it all ultimately lies with me and my faith)
with a lot of innerward searching and prayer, ive learned that my-we'll call it lack of motivation- affects the Body, but at the same time, when the Body isn't "being the Body" i hurt and that is contributing to this valley i can't seem to get out of. so then this brings the circle around back to me, and i have to ask, what in my life is hurting the Body? its a hard place to be in, is all i can say. humbling and breaking, rough & tough.
moving on..loneliness.
this is something that i don't understand and it plagues me.
i almost feel like i don't even have control over it, the slightest thing, usually not even related to anything will make or break my week. the past 2 weeks have been horrible-i was depressed, homesick, ready to throw in the towel with school, miserable to the point that i didnt want anybody to have to listen to me complain so i kept up "face"...this week started with a long and emotional & frustrating conversation and it ended up being a decent week. its like i need to find the breaker box on my emotions and just turn the loneliness one off-cause it seeps into everything.
my mind loves a good game.
my schedule doesnt help my circumstances.
theres duality and uncertainty in what im passionate about and desire to do.
satan he's a trickster.
this battle im in is constantly one over my emotions and trust.
to end on a good note-the Lord has answered a long time prayer: i think i've found a "close" friend! we're hanging out this weekend and are really excited..cause she's been praying for the same thing :)
thanksgiving will be 100% refreshing and wonderful..4 days of no school and then im flying home 2 weeks later...whoop!
thats all.
grace & peace friends,
alisha
Oh, the depths of the riches of the
wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgement,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?
Who has ever given to God that God should repay him?
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen
romans 11:33-36
so im going for a new look..and im still trying to figure it all out...
ive gotten the inspiration from sander & whitney & the stillers blogs...
hopefully it will be done and how i envisioned it soon....
grace & peace,
lish