theres comes a fine line with expectations.
To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life and this is a softness that ends in bitterness. Flannery O'Connor
Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life. William Congreve
What you have made me see," answered the Lady, "is as plain as the sky, but I never saw it before. Yet it has happened every day. One goes into the forest to pick food and already the thought of one fruit rather than another has grown up in one's mind. Then, it may be, one finds a different fruit and not the fruit one thought of. One joy was expected and another is given. But this I had never noticed before - that the very moment of the finding there is in the mind a kind of thrusting back, or setting aside. The picture of the fruit you have not found is still, for a moment, before you. And if you wished, if it were possible to wish - you could keep it there. You could send your soul after the good you had expected, instead of turning it to the good you had got. You could refuse the real good; you could make the real fruit taste insipid by thinking of the other." C.S. Lewis
Rarely do the followers exceed the expectations of the leaders. Unkown
are they good or bad? should we set high expectations? so quality and excellence is maximized or should we have low expectations so they are easily met and attained? or should we have no expectations at all so we're not disappointed or left wanting?
i don't have the answers to any of those questions, but too many times i feel like i've set too high of expectations and im left feeling failed and disappointed, then comes the thinking that if my expectations were lowered, i would be much happier; but would i???
thinking about my expectations in school, with work, in friendships & relationships and church, leads me to the other side of expectations, thinking about what the Lord expects out of me and in searching Scripture, the Lord expects/wants excellence, my best, complete and utter dependence [Prvb 31, Eph 4, Gal 5, 1 Peter 4, James 3, Hebrews 11 and many others]. He expects me to live a holy life, seeking His face, proclaiming His name to the ends of the earth, loving others with His eyes and compassion, pouring out grace and truth, surrendering, losing my life.
are my expectations for others a personality flaw/weakness? am i setting myself up for constant disappointment? how do i remedy this without feeling like im selling out to mediocrity or settling? my constant desire is to please the Lord and magnify Him "living a life worthy of the calling".
my prayer is that my expectations are founded in biblical truth and not selfish desire so at the end of the day its not about me.
grace & peace,
lish
so in light of the previous post, i probably shouldnt have just watched the new TAMU promo video..and nor should i be telling all the masses that read this blog, but yeah i'll admit it, it brought a tear to my eye..but i think thats cause my homesickness has been really bad lately...
so there ya go..and A&M video almost made me cry.
grace & peace,
lish
well..it shouldnt surprise me the day i write about not having anything exciting happening...something happens.
so i dont know if ive mentioned this but since the middle of August ive been donating plasma twice a week and have saved up a nice little travel fund. well, my money earning scheme has now been put on hold for 8 weeks due to "infiltration". my arm swelled & looked like there was a golf ball under the skin.
for the not so faint of heart, i'll hopefully be posting pictures of the quite large bruise that im going to have due to the "injury".
needless to say, no more plasma donating until my red blood count is back up in two months.
so its been a couple days since a post. nothing too exciting has been going on. ive been working on a post about culture, but every week theres more stuff to think about and so its not quite ready for posting...but soon! i had my first quizzes in mgmt and did as well as i thought i would, which wasn't great. theres just something about "business" and my brain that just dont connect...its like learning a foreign language, or harder! needless to say, more time will be devoted to studying those chapters.
work has been picking up; we have World Community Day coming up next week on Tuesday and the Int'l House has a huge part to play in that...basically is a world awareness day educating campus on countries and cultures-there are a ton of people coming out from Peace Corps volunteers to the Passport Agency and International awareness non-profits. I'll be helping out with the Study Abroad table and helping escort our "visitors" around-it should be crazy, but fun!
church is going well. i'm getting involved with the worship team. most likely im going to be doing female vocals. the way its set up is we have 2 bands that alternate weeks. and then i'm also going to be put on the nursery rotation-yea for babies! the "series" we've been on in big church has been about being overwhelmed. its been encouraging to hear and apply practical truths to the stresses that come up in my life, because i forget so easily that im not in control and totally have the strength to endure. in small group we've been expanding on the sermons as the kickoff isnt until the 24th. claude, our leader usually asks a question and facilates the discussion.
thats all i got. still alive & kickin' in greenville-the fall weather has been glorious, a little rainy, but the temperature divine!
grace & peace,
lish
a huge thanks to all who made my first birthday far from home special!
i loved all the phone calls, emails & ecards, cards and facebook msgs
the pigtails are for you william!
my birthday celebration was fun, me & some people from class went to chili's, very enjoyable and glad i didnt spend the whole night at home!
im so blessed by all of yalls friendships!
grace & peace,
lish
People keep asking me what grad school is like..and all i can tell them is its a lot of reading, so i thought i'd give you a glimpse of my everyday life:
this is an exerpt from
Since capital, the direct or indirect control of the means of subsistence and production, is the weapon with which this social warfare is carried on, it is clear that all the disadvantages of such a state must fall upon the poor. For him no man has the slightest concern. Cast into the whirlpool, he must struggle through as well as he can. If he is so happy as to find work, i.e., if the bourgeoisie does him the favour to enrich itself by means of him, wages await him which scarcely suffice to keep body and soul together; if he can get no work he may steal, if he is not afraid of the police, or starve, in which case the police will take care that he does so in a quiet and inoffensive manner. During my residence in England, at least twenty or thirty persons have died of simple starvation under the most revolting circumstances, and a jury has rarely been found possessed of the courage to speak the plain truth in the matter. Let the testimony ofjust one slelction of the 300 pages (and thats no exaggeration) of reading i had for this week-it by far has been the easiest to read through,
the witnesses be never so clear and unequivocal, the bourgeoisie, from which the jury is selected, always finds some backdoor through which to escape the frightful verdict, death from starvation. The bourgeoisie dare not speak the truth in these cases, for it would speak its own condemnation. But indirectly, far more than directly, many have died of starvation, where long-continued want of proper nourishment has called forth fatal illness, when it has produced such debility that causes which might otherwise have remained inoperative brought on severe illness and death. The English working-men call this "social murder", and accuse our whole society of perpetrating this crime perpetually. Are they wrong?
[…]
Every great city has one or more slums, where the working-class is crowded together. True, poverty often dwells in hidden alleys close to the palaces of the rich; but, in general, a separate territory has been assigned to it, where, removed from the sight of the happier classes, it may struggle along as it can. These slums are pretty equally arranged in all the great towns of England, the worst houses in the worst quarters of the towns; usually one- or two-storied cottages in long rows, perhaps with cellars used as dwellings, almost always irregularly built. These houses of three or four rooms and a kitchens form, throughout England, some parts of London excepted, the general dwellings of the working-class. The streets are generally unpaved, rough, dirty, filled with vegetable and animal refuse, without sewers or gutters, but supplied with foul, stagnant pools instead. Moreover, ventilation is impeded by the bad, confused method
of building of the whole quarter, and since many human beings here live crowded into a small space, the atmosphere that prevails in these working-men's quarters may readily be imagined. Further, the streets serve as drying grounds in fine weather; lines are stretched across from house to house, and hung with wet clothing.
anyways...ive gotta get back to writing.
grace & peace,
lish
Praise the Lord.
I will extol the Lord with all my heart in the council of the upright and in the assembly.
Great are the works of the Lord, they are pondered by all who delight in them
Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and his righteousness endures forever.
He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate.
He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever.
He has shown his people the power of his works; giving them the lands of other nations.
The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy.
They are steadfast for ever and ever, done in faithfulness and uprightness.
He provided redemption for his people; he ordained his covenant forever-holy and awesome is his name.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning gof wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.
I confess lately ive forgotten. ive been caught up in other things and the Lord is patiently waiting for me to get a clue. 3 separate times today i read "be still and know the Lord..", think He's trying to tell me something?
In my initial mental preparations for moving, what i thought it was going to be like, what the transition was going to look like, etc. i imagined this huge "shift", a profound, clear, obvious change into something better, and perhaps cooler. The summer was this constant readiness for something else, excited that there was a physical time it was going to start and take place. And tonight the Lord has taken hold of me and put me face to face with His consistency, steadfastness and faithfulness. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Gently and lovingly, He's taken me in His arms and said remember. No matter what house im sitting in, or what campus im attending school, its still a daily surrender of myself to glorify Him in my body.
While North Carolina is exciting and different, most everything in my life is still the same. I still constantly battle waking up in the morning, being a single gal in North Carolina stinks as much as it did in Texas, the Holy Spirit is still convicting and teaching me more intimately everyday, i have school/work responsibilities, the list goes on and on. As I sit back and think about all those expectations I had, I find myself feeling silly, wondering why I thought it was going to be so different.
The words of the psalmist speak such truth and reflect the current state of my heart.
Following Him, fearing Him will lead to understanding and wisdom in the places Im confused; seeking Him daily,reverently will answer the whys and hows i have about my future and relationships.
thats all i got for now.
God is good, all the time, His love endures forever.
grace & peace,
lish