well...
i'm officially residing at my house in CS
thinking about ecclesiastes 3
by grace,
lish
so to help Muffin, thats what we call my grandma...[Caley's pick] me, Caley & my mom met in Sealy to accompany her to BINGO in Wallis, TX (its 15 miles west of sealy on hwy 36). let me tell you quite the experience...i'll give you a full run down.
1. Mom calls Monday and tells me i'm to meet them in Sealy at 5:00pm
2. I arrive in Sealy at 5:04pm greeted by a "i thought your mom said 5 o'clock, where is she?"
3. 5:09 Mom and Caley arrive greeted by "i thought the plan was to meet at 5pm?"
4. We leave to go to Wal-mart & Subway; we have to be on the road headed to Wallis no later than 5:30pm
5. Due to poor management at Subway, there is no wheat bread so the Lombardi girls decide to go without, while we have to make a stop at the KFC/Taco Bell to get grandma mashed potatoes
6. 5:36pm we leave Sealy late & hungry..but we're big girls we can wait an hour or so, right?
7. so this whole time you're thinking Bingo starts at 6:00, get there a little early, find a seat, etc..oh no..we find out that Bingo doesnt start until 7:30..thats right 7:30!
8. Caley and I making faces in back seat about how hungry we are
9. 6:06 we find out Bingo lasts 2 hrs!
10. More disgruntled faces
11.Arrive at Wallis community center at 6:10, find seats, begin to pick out Bingo boards
From there the night continues with a lot of "you had to be there humor" that i could write about but just wouldnt be the same...i will mention the fun waiting game that Caley and I made "Find the old person that you think Mom & Dad will look like" . It was quite hilarious, and i was deemed the winner by Mom with my "classic sophisticated" choice of old lady.
Most exciting time of the night:
WHEN I BINGO-ED! yup, i won $50 bucks (47.50 when taxes were taken out), it was quite an amazing moment, full of anticipation & acheivement :)
Quote of the night:
Caley: "Check out that lady..she has a diaper on.."
Me: "How do you know?"
Caley: "All her junk in her trunk."
anyways,
bingo was fun, Muffin had fun, & i won some mulah
overall a good evening
ps-i'm done with my job in 2 days-whoop!
grace & peace,
lish
well..the prayers have been answered: I'm moving out of Brenham. The Lord provided an opportunity to leave, i prayed over it and am embarking on a huge journey of uncertainity that immediately includes finding a new job and moving back home to CS..all the way in the house, cause the garage apt is full.
Still pursuing the mission field, that process is still going; the Lord continues to open doors and bring great resources to me.
its really unbelievable to me how "well" i'm handling all this. i mean, i think i'm pretty freaked out on the insides, but i'm totally at peace and assured that this is what i'm suppose to be doing no matter how lame it is moving home to substitue or the lack of direction i have with my future.
so with all the insaneness of this, its only reasonable that i tell you my future plans look like they are going to include grad school. yup thats right, me who cared nothing about career and "higher education" wants to go back to school. you can be praying that, again, the Lord directs my steps and decisions as most of the programs that i'm looking into are out of state [which is totally ironic to me that Texas schools dont have strong Hispanic studies grad programs, you would think that Tx would have an abundant, but theres only a few that really dont suit me].
caley injured her leg in her tournament this weekend,
i chopped my hair off
thats about it
grace & peace,
lish
what to do with myself? sometimes, or most of the time, I feel like a fish living in a birdhouse. I hate making decisions, and not just a "i'm indecisive" but I flee from the slightest sight of confrontation. and yet, I constantly am seeking change-not in a running after it way, but the way in once making the decision, wondering if its the right decision i've made-which to change things means to ultimately make concise decisions.
This past Friday I was presented with a huge choice and I can say with cetainity that the decision I make will have huge consequences for the next year of my life; and i dont say that as a cliche, to be vauge and make it sound grand, but its completely freaked me out. The changes that will occur with whatever I choose will glofiry the Lord..but I've come to realize that the Lord is using this time in my life to really stretch my ears to His voice. Can I hear him over my fears, can I hear over my parents, can I hear Him in the midst of my financial responsibilities? Can I stop and listen? Can I hear the small, still voice saying "Be still and know that I am God, I am exalted over all the earth; I will never leave you or forsake you". I cried out to Him this weekend so much that my cheeks were rubbed raw from my sleeves-surrendering fears, confusion, pride, asking to clearly hear His voice, pouring out my motivation and desires and still I had no inkling of which choice was the best; and what scares me the most is that I might not know until I've made the decision-its the leap of faith you always have been told about...its not a fork in the road, a right or wrong choice (sometimes it is) but its Abraham on the mountain, with a knife, trusting the Lord's provision and plan, binding his only son to an altar, bringing the knife down and the Lord providing a ram, calling out "Abraham, Abraham!".
With either choice I make, the beautiful and wonderful love and provision of our Lord is shown, my faith and trust are put to extremes. What I do know, is that I dont want my choices to be made because its the responsible thing or be made out of duty or determiination, I dont want them to define who I am. I know who I am: i am a child of God, not alone, a light in the darkness. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. There is a perfect plan for my life and when I do make a "wrong" decision, the Lord will be there with me, picking me up, disciplining me and drawing me closer to Himself-cause you know, He's the Perfect Father. Decisions arent easy and we all fear mistakes, nobody wants to fail, or quit but we will fail, we will choose poorly, make mistakes but thats the beauty and power of grace.
So what am I going to do? I think I know, but ask me in a week.
Please keep me in your prayers.
grace & peace,
lish