its been a couple days since my last post. and i cant remember what i said, but again, im gonna talk about my kiddos. being in head start has been wonderful. my class is really great. we did assessments this last week, which was stressful for me cause i was the "teacher" all week (sidenote: i'm so glad that im not a teacher..i know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord is not calling me to teach at the "secondary" level: elementary to highschool). it amazes me the gifts and skills the Lord creates in us. All our kids come from homes where Spanish is their first language, and a handful of them do speak some english in the home, but for the most..its all espanol; so then we test them and half of them test fluent in both english and spanish. you have to understand this is abnormal, to be fluent in both languages at 4, not having "formal" education...yes we do have an academic side to head start, but theres more to it than preparing them for kindergarten.
anyways, their minds are beautiful and daily im blessed to be in the presence of the molding of hearts; through these precious, little humans, created in the image of our God, I hear the Lord saying "this is the faith i'm calling you to have, there is no fear in love Alisha, listen to me because i am in control and I know whats best" so many times im convicted and burdened by the things i teach and tell my kids in class, because those same things have a spiritual application to my life-like the Lord is telling me..listen to yourself...hear me-this "advice and wisdom" youre imparting to them is what i want you to trust and listen to from me.
i wish i could really put to life how much of a joy the South Knoll Bilingual Head Start class has been in my life. i wish you could come see me at work-cause thats the fun of it...its not "work": i get to do what i do best everyday-so that helps me battle all the insecurity and doubt & confusion i've been going through lately; my job affirms the Lord's hand in my life. granted my kids do get on my nerves, they arent these "precious little angels" all the time, but thats where the reality of our flawed world comes in-that we are dirty at the core of it-even at 4.
switching gears, last night was our final night of logos and the Lord truly blessed our time together with wonderful food, fellowship and laughter. for a couple weeks i was MIA here and there, but it was allowed cause Ben was always gone too and he was the leader. anyways, our group was a really random conglomeration of people & i love thats how the Lord works because I would have never had conversations with some of them because they would have never crossed my path. it made me sad that the semester was ending cause i still want to meet every week with them. luckily, lisa will still be here through the summer & beyond since she's taking over lacy's job, so i'm hoping to get some quality time with her.
anyway, today i took a much needed day off from work, and traveled up to btown to see Marissa and get some wisdom from Marcus; and its the first time ive been back since i left. its really affirming to see that my "decision" to step down was the "right" one. Debbie is doing an amazing job with the children's ministry and just the progress and attitude of everything was affirming to see in Marcus's and Chris's lives; so much so that i know i can be a bigger part of their lives than i have been. i kept my distance for awhile-just felt like that is what was needed, but after being here today, i know i can be a present instead of a past..that sounds so cliche & lame, but oh well- i know i am loved and have family here and am in the place to finally receive it again...too much i think im driven by fear-but priase the Lord we are empowered by the Holy Spirit..hope and power are to promises im holding to these days.
grace & peace,
lish
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